Attorney Aficionado Gifts

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Violent Crime Statistics

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

'Lateral hires are always told we do things differently here.'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

Businessman has Sterling Sign Shaved in Head.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."