Fiscal Aficionado Gifts

"Okay - if you're so smart, what do we do about it?"

The spend is high

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Do you remember the good old days when April 15 was the only 'fiscal cliff' people worried about?'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

'Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

Human Resources Dept: Full time/part time/over time/time and a half/time out.

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

They Are Not Going to Take Me

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Filling Cabinet - "Why are all the letters different?"

US Gun Control Debates.

Judge

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'