Career Hustler Gifts

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

Work Slave

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

Home Business - Electric Stapler.

Running Latte

'This home based business is easy to set up. Everyone knows that women are better at multitasking.'

Engineer on the move.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'Still doing the work of three people, huh?'

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

'Get me personnel!'

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

'My parents say it will give me a sense of responsibility and pride in accomplishment. I'm looking at it as a 'get rich quick' scheme.'

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

'Congratulations you have just made our one millionth request for a raise!'

"Since we're a startup, we were hoping you would pay us to work here."

Feel the baby kick - 5 cents

'I should have gone to my chiropractor before this meeting.'

"Working from home he misses his meetings."

"I've been promoted from working for free to working for bitcoins."

I'm making extra money offering services on that freelance jobs site exploitrr.com. What're you offering, little buddy? Book promotion? Logo design? Backup services. For just $5 per thread, I'll back you up in all your online arguments. I suspect you're going to make a killing. I'll post things like you sure told him! And you're brilliant, total stranger!

'Perpetual Sutdent Syndrome Clinic' Director: R. Chones, BA, MA, PhD, MSW, MBA.