Graduate Hustler Gifts

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

Pull an all-nighter?

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Engineer on the move.

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

'I was on my way to school, and some drug-crazed hippies took my homework.'

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

"Miss, the cloud swallowed my homework."

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

"Give my kid a passing grade and you could be looking at many more nice apples."

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'