Graduate Hustler Gifts

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

Pull an all-nighter?

'I wasted a lot of time in graduate school to get this job.'

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Engineer on the move.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

'I was on my way to school, and some drug-crazed hippies took my homework.'

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

"Miss, the cloud swallowed my homework."

"Give my kid a passing grade and you could be looking at many more nice apples."

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'A computer virus ate my homework.'