Aspiring Hustler Gifts

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

Like many of those in tribicles, Mitch dreamed of one day moving up to the real deal.

Not thinking BIG enough: Nickel & Dime Bank.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'At least I don't have his life.'

Engineer on the move.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it? No. What if I drank scotch and smoked a cigar and listened to vinyl records and grew a big lumberjack beard? It's what all the hipsters are doing. You're not a hipster. I'm at least a kneester. At most you're a keister.

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

"Grampa, when will I be old enough to ship jobs overseas?"

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

"So what makes you think you're the right person for this post?" "Well, I'm highly motivated, outgoing and independently minded. Isn't that right, Dad?"

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty, and don't destroy the rainforest.'

'My long term plan is to grow with the company.'

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

'I tried for a new lease on life, but I got a lousy credit report.'

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

'My parents say it will give me a sense of responsibility and pride in accomplishment. I'm looking at it as a 'get rich quick' scheme.'

'Anything on how to build a legacy, at the entry level?'

'Portfolio evaluation; $2.50'

"Since we're a startup, we were hoping you would pay us to work here."

Don't be chicken. Follow your dreams.

Boss, I'm more than just a cashier and a mopper-upper guy. What? If only you'll give me more of a decision-making role, you'll find that I've got a lot of good ideas. Such as. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. I, uh … didn't really expect you to ask me right now. I sense a cash register that needs mopping.