Young Hustler Aficionado Gifts

'Portfolio evaluation; $2.50'

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

'You can earn more money, but you'll need to take a second job.'

The Real American Dream

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

"Forget 110% 24/7: we need 120% 25/8."

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

Office Woman

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

"It's thrilling to watch them come out in the morning, ready for the kill!"

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

Garden City Restaurant: 'Workaholics businessmen's lunch - 24 hours every day.'

'Still duckin' an' divin'?'

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty, and don't destroy the rainforest.'

'You need to take one capsule a day as supplement. .. After you reach a certain income level, your body stops producing this stuff.'

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

"Couldn't stand working for the man, so I started my own business. Now I just can't stand working."

Peddler selling directory of street peddlers.

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

"Everybody seems to be in such a hurry these days!"

'My parents say it will give me a sense of responsibility and pride in accomplishment. I'm looking at it as a 'get rich quick' scheme.'

"My mom and dad are still very sharp."

"I spent hundreds of dollars on a course for entrepreneurs..."