Hopeful Hustler Gifts

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

Engineer on the move.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

'We would deliver if we could cross the street.'

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

'Do you realize, this is a land of opportunity?' - 'Yes, anyone can become a tax payer.'

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

'My parents say it will give me a sense of responsibility and pride in accomplishment. I'm looking at it as a 'get rich quick' scheme.'

"I got a lot of work done today. I couldn't sleep."

'Portfolio evaluation; $2.50'

"Since we're a startup, we were hoping you would pay us to work here."

'I forgot my keys!'

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

"I've been promoted from working for free to working for bitcoins."

'Well. I hope you at least closed the sale, Harry.'

"It helps me to focus more on success and less on my tail."

'No one takes me seriously because I'm a small business man.'

'Times must be hard, you're the sixth self-employed freelancer I've seen this week whose expenses exceed income...'

'We haven't made a dime all day -- maybe renting an office wasn't such a hot idea after all.'

Get rich quick.

"I want you to unload the dishwasher and put every dish away...including your tip jar."

"I'm making a fortune knocking on peoples doors and selling these"