Higher Education Hustler Gifts

'Perpetual Sutdent Syndrome Clinic' Director: R. Chones, BA, MA, PhD, MSW, MBA.

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'Yeah, the radiology job market is really hot right now - it's so hot I think I'm getting third degree burns! I gotta go!'

Pull an all-nighter?

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Engineer on the move.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

'You're kidding... I've got a masters in philosophy too!'

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'Would you believe, I didn't get my homework done because of PMS?'

'I did my homework on my computer and before I could print it, it crashed.'

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

'I was on my way to school, and some drug-crazed hippies took my homework.'

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

'...... in sickness and in health, through the long lean years before tenure or perhaps no tenure, for better of for worse ......'

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

'The good news is tomorrow is a brand new day. The bad news is I'll be spending it at work.'

"Miss, the cloud swallowed my homework."

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

"Give my kid a passing grade and you could be looking at many more nice apples."

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'A computer virus ate my homework.'