Higher Ed Strugglers Gifts

Help Me Play My Student Loans

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Interdisciplinary studies.

Continuing education.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

All Hail the Matriarchy

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Football team discussions.

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

'How could it have been rough for you back in Pharmacy school, Dad? You only had penicillin and aspirin.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

Student Debt

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"That's what I get for using artificial intelligence."

'After you ask him for the pony, ask him to pay for your college education.'

"We can determine your child's gender, IQ and student debt load."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'I see you hold degrees in both medicine and law - But tell me, Henderson; do use these powers for good or for evil?'

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

'Please help, ma'am. I need support to write my Ph.D. dissertation on 'Successful fund-raising techniques'.'