Creative Hustler Gifts

"What am I doing? Oh, web design, mostly... A little freelance illustration when I can find it."

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

Work Slave

'...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?'

Engineer on the move.

"I didn't bring a resume. I brought coffee and donuts."

'Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury.'

'Still doing the work of three people, huh?'

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

Does your computer have a webcam? Yes. I've fixed it so no one can spy on me. What a tech genius! A band-aid solution that works!

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

'You've got plenty of time for a little prayer before you get to him.'

Ralph Higgleton, marketing prodigy.

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

'Now all I have to do is find someone to market this baby.'

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

'Thanks to the horoscopes, I became pretty rich! I devise and sell that stuff!'

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

"I hope this isn't another one of your crazy bounce-me-off-the-wall ideas."

'Congratulations you have just made our one millionth request for a raise!'

"Since we're a startup, we were hoping you would pay us to work here."

"Tom, this is an ideas meeting, not a planning meeting."

"We do appreciate imagination as a quality in candidates, but not when it comes to your qualifications."

'Feelings, nothing more than feeeelings that I'm right for this job.'

'I should have gone to my chiropractor before this meeting.'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS 37 FLAVORS, 'Oh, salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard, worcestershire sauce....'

Lost property

I'm making extra money offering services on that freelance jobs site exploitrr.com. What're you offering, little buddy? Book promotion? Logo design? Backup services. For just $5 per thread, I'll back you up in all your online arguments. I suspect you're going to make a killing. I'll post things like you sure told him! And you're brilliant, total stranger!

Lemonade

Creativity 2.0

'You say you lost your last three jobs because of oversleeping?'