Creative Job Seeker Gifts

'I have never seen a resume prepared in pastels and oil paint. How long have you been unemployed?'

"We do appreciate imagination as a quality in candidates, but not when it comes to your qualifications."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Sure, he likes it here - he's a cartoonist.

"He might not have got the job with Google, but they weren't going to stop Brian skateboarding to the office."

Raincloud Umbrella

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

'You say you were King of the Jungle, but it seems your experience is mainly in savannah grassland...'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

How are you at decision making?

The Origami Society...

"I love you in a suit. You look so... employed."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

Do you have any other skills?

"Don't get the wrong idea about those years in a mental institution. I was employed there."

"I don't like your application."

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

In and Out Sourced.

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

Between Offices

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

'A short economics test - if you bought something for

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

'Someone important is bound to see my resume now!'

'Now, remember...let me do the talking.'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

"Your CV will be sufficient, Mr. Cooper."