Court Clown Gifts

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

Tennis ball girl.

'He's out cold. Someone fetch a felt marker so I can draw something on his face.'

"Stop me if you've heard this one, not guilty."

'I must remember to keep my mouth shut when the other guy is serving.'

'Our offense needs some kind of spark off the bench. Get me some more cash.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

Gary turns 40.

'We feel it's very important to provide our employees with an extremely comfortable work-place environment. Primarily because we don't allow them to ever go home.'

"You're new here ... it's customary on dismal Monday mornings to be miserable."

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday,'

It's all fixed. Just don't type anything that contains the letter ‘E'.

'Harold is the brains behind the Smudge-o-Rama mailer.'

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

'And in conclusion.'

Runner going through hurdles.

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Who stuck corks on all the cursors?'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

"He didn't slip on even one of those peels..."

'Jack, you're being way too entertaining. This is supposed to be a bored meeting.'

"It's depressing, people just don't take our work seriously."

"On your application it says you've been a circus clown, an orthopaedic surgeon and a molecular biologist."

"I have a message from corporate. It says 'bail'."

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

Dog executives are in a duel