College Clown Gifts

University cone dispenser

Ethics exam cheater.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Yearbook

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

How are you at decision making?

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"