College Clown Gifts

University cone dispenser

Ethics exam cheater.

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

'...And here we have the 'Laugher Curve.''

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

"Well, look at the bright side, Timmy — you're 100 percent wrong."

Yearbook

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

Young Dr. Dolittle.

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

How are you at decision making?

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

"In economics, I got an IOU."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Add the numbers, divide by how many numbers you've added and there you have it-the average amount of minutes you sleep in class each day.'

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

"I want to be street smart so I can be a road scholar."

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

'I know my resume makes me seem overtrained, but I really wasn't paying attention.'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"