Court Comic Gifts

'I told you not to argue with the ref, Dewey.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Gary turns 40.

Yawning barristers in court

Tennis ball girl.

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

No caption

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Supremacist Court

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

'Make sport of the Queen.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'Exhibit A: the oxygen tube that came loose the night she died. You were there that night. You wanted to play then, too.'

'We need further instruction, your honor. Does a full house beat a straight?'

"It make syou kind of proud to be helping to build this giant new hospital doesn't it!!"

"My client demands a jury trial."

". . . and that's the story of why you should find this defendant. . . GUILTY!"

I rest my case, your honor, in celebration of "Casual Defense Friday." ! !

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'Clearly my client would be slim, healthy and attractive if MacBurger had adequately warned him of the dangers of eating every scrap of food in their restaurant.'

"Hmm, offhand, I'd say you have a nasty case of tennis elbow!"

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

"Isn't it enough that I know the truth?"

Well, since your sentence is only for five years, you might as well go on home now.

'Are you capable of distinguishing right from wrong?', 'Can you give me a hint?'