Court Case Comic Fan Gifts

'Well, if you DNA made you do it, I'm sentencing your DNA to thirty years in prison.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Yawning barristers in court

"I'll tell you, mock jury duty beats cancer testing."

"Recess is over, Your Honor."

So you'd like to be a lawyer...we require honest, genuine people, who are prepared to...learn how to fake sincerity.

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Supremacist Court

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'You have an over reactive gagging reflex.'

'Exhibit A: the oxygen tube that came loose the night she died. You were there that night. You wanted to play then, too.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

"Yes, you were found guilty of the same crime in 2004."

'We need further instruction, your honor. Does a full house beat a straight?'

"It make syou kind of proud to be helping to build this giant new hospital doesn't it!!"

"My client demands a jury trial."

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'Clearly my client would be slim, healthy and attractive if MacBurger had adequately warned him of the dangers of eating every scrap of food in their restaurant.'

"We the jury, find the defendant to be as guilty as he looks."

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

'He's competent in every regard, except to stand trial.'

'If you don't stay seated, I'll have to use my pop-up blocker.'

'I'm not kidding....my client is really insane!'

"Isn't it enough that I know the truth?"

'My client did not escape, Your Honor -- his prison was so crowded, somebody pushed him out the window!'

'Are you capable of distinguishing right from wrong?', 'Can you give me a hint?'

"I think we should accept the prosecution's generous offer of a coin flip."

'Yeah, I shot the guy, but only because I was misled by my advisors.'

The Supreme Flip Flop!

'He's just been named a super lawyer by the Bar Association.'

"I'm not accusing you of anything, Your Honor. I'm just saying the tip jar may create an impression of impropriety."

'Good news. The DNA proves you're not guilty, you have no genetic diseases, and you're a half-brother of the Prince of Glavistan.'