Country Glamour Seeker Gifts

Botox!

'Cock-a-doodle-do!'

Well... Tis the season to be jolly!

"I won't be in today. I've decided to live off the land."

Farmers' Warnings.

"Ernie's full service salon and day spa."

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

Cow and Milk

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Home Sweet Second Home.

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

The Near Outback: Lenny and Samantha

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

The Cattle show Week.

A Gated Community.

'I see Farmer Grayson is off to dust the crops again!'

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

Farmyard Sinatra - "Start spreadin'...Manure

"Excuse me sir, is this the environment..?"

Snedly and Snedly, the first company to leave the city, and take their buiding with them.

Hey mum, do you wanna see s'thing disgustin'?

'It never fails. The mud's always one inch higher than my boots.'

Horse Clean-up

"Kicking you upstairs is, of course, just a figure of speech. What we're really doing is sending you deeper into the countryside."

Life is simpler in the sticks.

The Scenic Route

'A couple of trees, a few shrubs...it started just like any other atrium.'

"I can remember when this was all farmland."

It was an impulse buy.

Can we have our hedgehog back please?(Hedgehog is stuck to the tree)

Nobody noticed when poor Farmer Jack froze to death in the snow at the front of his farm.

Clang clang. Uncle Ernie, why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.