Countertop Aficionado Gifts

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Man notices coffee table book called '1000 Best Coffee Table Books'.

Drinking Hats

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

Rishi Sunak

Columbus At Home...'A Spoon!'

Changing house name.

'Well, no wonder -- you should have had it winterized.'

A Passage in the Life of Mr. Watkins Tottle

"So much to do... so little time."

Book Store. I'm looking for a book on remodeling kitchen cabinets. Ah --- A "shelf-improvement" book!

Practical Woodworm...

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

The Tragic Story of a Man With a Pace Maker and A Witch With a Microwave.

A spoon you can run away with, but a spork is the kind of practical utensil you marry.

Wow. That was a lot faster. (Published originally on October 20, 2011.)

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

"I find things go around in cycles."

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

"I call it 'Organised Cabinet Number One'."

"What if we put the solid granite Jacuzzi on the first floor?"

Stable conversion for luxury flats.

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."