Coffee Table Enthusiast Gifts

Man notices coffee table book called '1000 Best Coffee Table Books'.

"Since he retired I like to keep in handy around the house."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

Eternal Student.

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

Selling lemon latt�

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"At this office no two days are different."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'These are job perks.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Back to work...

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

"The more coffee I drink, the more these motivational posters make sense."

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

Joined at the hipster.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Those new coffee drones are really starting to get on my nerves."

Allegro con molto espresso

You've Had Enough!

'Yes I know I'm intelligent and famous, but I'd trade it all for a good old belly scratching.'

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

'Pretty strange term, market share, considering the whole object is not to.'

Espresso Martini Peacock