Modern Home Aficionado Gifts

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"I tell you, it's way easier to put up bookshelves."

"I didn't spark joy."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

'It's a new concept, the inside out house.'

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

Le Corbusier

'Here's a house that needs fixing up. Are you handy with money?'

Decorators at Home

"It may well be the root of all evil, but it's also the root of all this."

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

"I want our divorce to have a country farmhouse feeling."

'So this is a kitchen!'

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

'It was recently remodelled to fit a really big-screen TV!'

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

Apple white paint results in pictures of apples.

"The building is fully renovated with VR in every unit...let's put these on to view the kitchen."