Unconventional Home Enthusiast Gifts

"You bought one, too? That guy’s a really persuasive realtor!"

"I didn't spark joy."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

Living together, couple in love.

Fireplace Projector.

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

'Brew?'

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

'So this is a kitchen!'

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

'It was recently remodelled to fit a really big-screen TV!'

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

Repossessed Properties.

Another fine home by McKlosy Construction Co.

Homeowners.

"The previous owners turned the basement into a terrific mother-in-law apartment."

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

Family living in an allevator

Coming Home

Stable conversion for luxury flats.

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.