Novelty Home Enthusiast Gifts

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"I didn't spark joy."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Living together, couple in love.

'Decorating on a shoestring'

Fireplace Projector.

'Brew?'

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

'So this is a kitchen!'

'My life is so awesome! I've got a starter job, starter house and a starter husband.'

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

'Are you the Octomom who needs a new house?'

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

Repossessed Properties.

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

Homeowners.

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

Coming Home

The Old Woman in the Shoe's summer home.

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

Family living in an allevator

Introducing...The Creeping Draft

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

Robot Washing Up.

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."