Home Enthusiasts Gifts

'And this is the walk-in fireplace... I'd be careful with that.'

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

Living together, couple in love.

Woman cleaning floor while man puts his feet up

"...and I'm sure you've already noticed how deep the carpet pile is!"

The 'Deluxe Deepest-Pile' carpet claims another victim...

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"I didn't spark joy."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"You're welcome."

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

"Do you prefer the tile engineered to look like wood, or the wood engineered to look like tile?"

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

Pea green

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

'I love what you've not done with the place.'