Household Enthusiast Gifts

'The meaning of life? Sorry, kid, you're on the wrong mountain - I'm the guru of handy household tips!'

"I didn't spark joy."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

I love my family!

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

It's a Boy

Mother's Love

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'I think babies grow in a mommy's tummy and adopted babies grow in a mommy's heart.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

'They're a very successful family.'

"I'm used to falling asleep with the TV on. Read me an infomercial."

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"Yes, "breeding like rabbits" is often used in a pejorative sense. The truth is, we don't care as we love having kids..."

"This new dough-maker attachment is going to pay for itself in no time.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"How many times do I have to beep you?"

"All new appliances, brand new subway tile backsplash and a unique kitchen island; notice those coconuts!"

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

'It's no use! His computer tablet has replaced his blanky!'

"It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Living together, couple in love.

'Don't fill up on milk and cookies.'

A couple with a new baby

Family.

Thank you for the wedding present.

Production manager with lots of children.