Novelty Home Enthusiast T-Shirts

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"I didn't spark joy."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Living together, couple in love.

'Decorating on a shoestring'

Fireplace Projector.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

'Brew?'

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

'So this is a kitchen!'

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

'Are you the Octomom who needs a new house?'

'My life is so awesome! I've got a starter job, starter house and a starter husband.'

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

'I just love what you've done with the kitty litter box.'

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

Repossessed Properties.

Homeowners.

The Old Woman in the Shoe's summer home.

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

Coming Home

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

Family living in an allevator

Introducing...The Creeping Draft

If you lived here, this sign would block your view.

Robot Washing Up.

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'