Unconventional Home Enthusiast Pillows

"You bought one, too? That guy’s a really persuasive realtor!"

"I didn't spark joy."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Would it have killed you to go with a store-bought model?'

Living together, couple in love.

Fireplace Projector.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

'Brew?'

'So this is a kitchen!'

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"I'm your court-appointed attorney, but I'm really an interior decorator."

'It was recently remodelled to fit a really big-screen TV!'

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

'I wish I'd listened to Sarah Beeny now.'

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

"My husband, of course, will want a den."

Another fine home by McKlosy Construction Co.

Repossessed Properties.

Homeowners.

Stable conversion for luxury flats.

'And this is the walk-in laundry chute.'

Coming Home

Introducing...The Creeping Draft

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

Family living in an allevator