Quirky Home Enthusiast Pillows

'It's a beautiful home with the exception of a little radon gas."

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

'And it has two bathrooms.'

'It's an eclectic fence.'

'It was the only palce we could get for less than ?100,000.'

Other uses for pet boa constrictors: Light bulb remover boa.

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

Igloos are domicicles.

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

Zipper apartment blocks.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

Rogue elephant

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Snow globe

Carnations.

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

"Butt cracker"

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'Design brief.'

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

Spaceman with a vacuum cleaner in space

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR

"Interesting story behind this one..."

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."