Quirky House Enthusiast Pillows

'For sale'

Cake Free Zone

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

His & hers towels.

Rogue elephant

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

Snow globe

Carnations.

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

Shoe house.

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

Arrow Church

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

"Butt cracker"

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

The Arcimboldo Arrangement

'Are there any new species more efficient than neons, such as compact fluorescents or LEDs?'

'Design brief.'

Homes of the font designers

Spaceman with a vacuum cleaner in space

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

'Pointless Pets: A ceramic tiled giraffe.'

'Funny place to put an esculator.'

'Pretty useful things, those fridge magnets.'

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'Uh, nich tchotchkes, sir.'

Have you seen this toaster?

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."