Quirky Home Aficionado Gifts

Cake Free Zone

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Snow globe

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

WInter Fish

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"Interesting story behind this one..."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

Homes of the font designers

"I bought a new summer condo."

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

Repossessed Properties.

'I'm from the odd shaped glass supply company.'

"It has some charming original features."

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

"Mmm... not sure about these new high-rises..."

Unicorn Hunting Trophy