Quirky Home Connoisseur Gifts

Woman Ironing Contraceptives.

Cake Free Zone

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

Imagine

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Snow globe

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

Arctic Snails.

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"I'm working on a watercolor."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

"Interesting story behind this one..."

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

Homes of the font designers

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

Blue wine

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

WInter Fish