Quirky Home Connoisseur Gifts

Woman Ironing Contraceptives.

Cake Free Zone

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Imagine

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Bootsy has welcomed the vacuum robot into our home in her own unique way."

Leonardo Da Vinci's Cat

Snow globe

"I'd like a wine that was born in France and then bummed around California."

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'Don't say it! You're going to ask me if I notice anything different in here.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

Arctic Snails.

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"Interesting story behind this one..."

WInter Fish

"I'm working on a watercolor."

Blue wine

Homes of the font designers

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

'I won't bother you, Mr. Gridley... I just wanted to see how it would feel to walk barefoot on your plush carpeting...'

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

"I bought a new summer condo."