Countertop Aficionado T-Shirts

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

Cartoon showing a group snails, one has a large shell underneath him. Another snail, observing, says to his mate: "Another basement conversion.".

'Now there's a real pro! He can even nail while power napping.'

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"I can't party like I used to, I've got enough Tupperware"

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

"This is our high-traffic, reinforced, heavy-duty model."

Man notices coffee table book called '1000 Best Coffee Table Books'.

Drinking Hats

"Hal said he had big dreams...so he bought this bed."

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

Rishi Sunak

Columbus At Home...'A Spoon!'

Changing house name.

The Tragic Story of a Man With a Pace Maker and A Witch With a Microwave.

"This is your breakfast nook and over there next to the refrigerator is your breakfast cranny."

"So much to do... so little time."

Practical Woodworm...

'Well, no wonder -- you should have had it winterized.'

A Passage in the Life of Mr. Watkins Tottle

"I find things go around in cycles."

"What if we put the solid granite Jacuzzi on the first floor?"

Stable conversion for luxury flats.

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

"I call it 'Organised Cabinet Number One'."

"Well I only know of only one family smart enough to know they can't live without an energy efficient clothes dryer! That's right . . . the sucker fish family!"

Computerized House

"As them if I can have the bottle when it's empty - it'll make a really nice table lamp."