Counseling Fan Gifts

"I feel we've had a good session today."

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'He's a conspiracy theorist - he refuses to believe that Great Aunt Mildred is really dead.'

Support groups for car repairs.

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

Man sleeps instead of reading 'The Art of Listening.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

Early career fair

'I'm you from thirty years in the future. I've come back to tell you not to do it!'

So...who is your provider ?

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'