Counseling Comics Fan Gifts

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

"I like what you have here but the title seems a little pushy."

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

'Group hug anyone?'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'How was my evaluation They really cut me down to size.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

Early career fair

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.

"I feel we've had a good session today."

"When the spoon ran away with the dish, it broke my heart!"

"I can't cure your agoraphobia, Mr Johnson, if you won't come out of your box."

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

'There's nothing physically wrong. It needs a psychiatrist.'