Counseling Comic Lovers Gifts

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'Are we there yet?'

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

"Relax, I'll go back and find it."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

'Like you, I don't know why they feed us every day, but as long as they do it, I'll stay...'

'I beleive I have a new approach to psychotherapy, but, like everything else, the FDA tells me it first has to be tested on mice.'

'Since I've been identifying with you, I've been appointed director of the Millwood Psychiatric Institute.'

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

The Amazing Adventures of Wondercat.

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'I don't care if you're wearing them again tomorrow, just put your clothes away!'

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Red riding hood giving the wolf a complex

"That pigeon's at it again."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'Well, Mr. Harris, I'm afraid you simply care too much. You have compassion fatigue.'

Meanwhile back at the pond 'Wow... nice pad man!'

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'OK, I got the photo. Let's release the big guy before he goes into shock.'

'How was my evaluation They really cut me down to size.'

Idiot's Guide to Programming a VCR.