Counseling Comic Enthusiast Gifts

Your eyelids are growing heavy … No, wait … Better yet, your lips are growing heavy … !!!

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"I recommend that you two find a way to spice up your shelf life."

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'Mona Lisa, would it make you happy if I gave you a foot massage every night?'

"There! Now we're getting somewhere."

Personal Relationship Counsellor

'Typical bloody man, you've no idea what loyalty means...it's just self, self...self!'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

'First, I'll give you my side of the story...then, the wimp will give you his...'

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

'Actually, I'm a placebo psychiatrist.'

'Right. Like I'd tell YOU.'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

'How was my evaluation They really cut me down to size.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

'I know we're supposed to be Lovebirds, but a bit of privacy from time to time would be nice...'

Weight of the world on your shoulders.

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'It's all right. You're allowed to get up on this couch.'

'I thought being married to a rodeo clown would be more fun.'

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

Your Uncle Mort and Sadie are back from Canada. Are they still getting married? Yeah, but they're slowing things down. They're going to talk to someone about their problems. A counselor is always a good idea. They couldn't exactly afford a professional. He doesn't put the bathroom seat down.

"I feel we've had a good session today."

'What I hate most is coming home and having all those damn Harleys parked in my driveway!'

"Let me see if I can get Him on speakerphone."

"When the spoon ran away with the dish, it broke my heart!"

"I can't cure your agoraphobia, Mr Johnson, if you won't come out of your box."