Couples Counselor Fan Gifts

"Mort tells us he used to be a bold man."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

She - Interpreter - He.

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Duvet nailed to the floor.

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"See how controlling he is?!"

"You see?"

A woman thinks of flowers and a man thinks of a prison cell.

'My outer self loves your inner self, but my inner self can't stand your outer self.'

"Whose turn is it to be happy?"

'Sharing the same skin-type is fine. But, as a basis for a stable marriage...'

"After 20 years of marriage, don't you think it's time you stopped calling your husband 'that Harold person'?"

"You're both miserable wretches, but I suppose that's beside the point."

'Don't you be dissing the Ho' now!'

"This now concludes our broadcast day."

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

"I thought I could change him but he's the same dog he's always been."

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

"They're going through a bitter marriage."

Interpreters.

"Yes, this is exactly how wars start—because of someone's insensitivity!"

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

"True, you have irreconcilable differences, but they're mainly about flossing."

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

Early career fair

'Do we LOOK as though we asked for 'Love is a Many Splendoured Thing'?'