Couch Time Expert Gifts

'I'll start my run at the next commercial break!!'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Breaking Bad' Box Set Addiction.

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Today let's work on changing channels, drinking with a mouthful of food, and yelling at the TV all at the same time."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"I'm being punished. I have to stay out of Wi-Fi range for an hour."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"It's not just me, Dad. Amazon.com has never made a cent, either."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'The economy today got a boost from Alan Greenspan, who said it's O.K. to be irrationally exuberant.'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

Easy chair exercise machines

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

"The point of going outside is the feeling when coming back inside."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

'Next on News 7...GM offers to bail out the government in the event of a shutdown...'

Eventual Motion Machine

"If the packers lose I'll eat my hat."

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

'He hibernates between superbowls.'

'It's topped with things I found under my sofa cushions.'