Couch Expert Gifts

'We interrupt our regular programming because nobody much is watching anyway....'

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

TV-Man

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

"It's wonderful to be away from the rat race. So, what happened on 'CSI: Miami' last night?"

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Goal!"

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Binge Watch

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"It's a beautiful day. I should go for a walk. . . Oh, now my neighbors are all out there."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

Easy chair exercise machines

"I see a couch."

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."