Couch Storyteller Gifts

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

'Hey! - why bicker all evening when we could be watching a film about ideological genocide.'

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"I suppose we could burst onto the literary scene."