Cozy Storyteller Gifts

Best. Gran. Ever.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"His exercise wheel has lost all its fascination sinces he started reading Hemingway."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

Daughters at Bedtime

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Snow is falling...

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Hog Futures

Chicken Funeral Planning.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"Love me?"

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Centaur falls in love.

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

'I like reading romance novels: They always leave me with a warm feeling inside...'

'You're an estate agent aren't you?'

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"