Cuddly Storyteller Gifts

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

'She's just great with the children.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

How I met your mother

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Good boy

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'I can't bear to be without you.'

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"It's the dog."

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

Centaur falls in love.

Hugs 50 cents

"So we all love Cuddly Poo, but to cover ourselves, better run it by day care."

Hog Futures

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'