Cuddly Storyteller Gifts

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Little dog in Romance section in bookstore under sign: 'Puppy Love'

'She's just great with the children.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Look - I'm cold, you're cold. Why don't we settle down and start a family?"

"Why won't you cuddle?"

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

How I met your mother

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'I can't bear to be without you.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Good boy

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Centaur falls in love.

Hugs 50 cents

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

"It's the dog."

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

"So we all love Cuddly Poo, but to cover ourselves, better run it by day care."

Hog Futures

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"