Comedic Canine Storyteller Gifts

Dog Recurring Nightmare.

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'She's just great with the children.'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

His Master's Thesis.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"I finally caught you... now what?"

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Dogs life

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."