Doggy Storyteller Gifts

'She's just great with the children.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

Good boy

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

"It's the dog."

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

"She never took to the leash."

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

'Let me put this in dog terms: Woof! Woof! Bark! Bark! Bow-wow-wow!'

'Tarzan'

'I don't care if you are just 2 years old, people don't have time to read your life story.'

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

"My human can't tell which end is which."

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

'Not so easy, is it?'

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

"So the vet says, 'If this is my thermometer, then where's my pen?' . . . Get it!? . . . IS this thing on!?"

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

"And the endorsement deals I get for kid's merchandise is cra-azy!"

"Relax, Sparky! Doctors say bone loss is normal at our age!"

'I'm sorry, honey, but your dog Scraps has gone on to a better place now. I sold him to that family across the road with an inground pool.'