Fantasy Canine Storyteller Gifts

Dog Dreams

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'She's just great with the children.'

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

Good boy

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

"It's the dog."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Tarzan'

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

"It's not that you ate the sirloin tips. It's the lying."

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

Hemingway's dog meets Faulkner's Dog.

'Not so easy, is it?'

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

"Aw, so cute - scooter's running in his sleep again."

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

'I'm sorry, honey, but your dog Scraps has gone on to a better place now. I sold him to that family across the road with an inground pool.'

When Dachshunds dream.

"I should start a podcast."