Couch Conversationalist Gifts

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

Snow is falling...

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

"Arthur, the bird's gone and done it again."

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

"When I grow up, I want to impeach a president."

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'