Couch Olympian Gifts

They called her the Olympic Flame because she never went out.

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Seriously. You have to get one of these.'

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

Bradley Wiggins

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

"When did this game get started?"

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

The Bronze Age of Television

Eventual Motion Machine

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"A guy in 'recovery' wants to buy your slippers."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

"I thought you were teaching him to fetch your slippers?"

"How much for the couch without the potato?"

"I'll always love you just the way I am."

"You need the exercise, so I bought you a bigger remote."

'Yes, it's a very interesting show, but we really need to talk about all the time you waste watching it - perhaps during the next commercial break.'

"I know that in these bad times nobody is hiring and workers are still being laid off, but what will be your excuse when the economy recovers?"

John bought himself a new "Unfit" bracelet.

'I've been talking to my imaginary friend Carlos about this, and he thinks you're the wrong doctor to treat my delusional syndrome.'

'Sorry to bother you Mr Hellerman, but do you think you could just pop in and change the channel?'

'Darling! This isn't a property programme at all! It's the view from our living room window..'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."