Couch Conservationist Gifts

'Can I call you back? I'm right in the middle of clawing the couch...'

"Her name is 'Precious', but her nickname is 'why we can't have nice things.'"

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Binge Watch

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"Goal!"

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"I wish I could lay there all day watching funny cat videos..."

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"I really like this one – but I'm afraid of getting hurt again."

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'He's in training for the marathon, he watches it every year.'

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

"I see a couch."

Staycation Photos

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

E-Z Livin'

'Having him declawed was a total was a total waste of money.'

Sleep. The magazine for people who are asleep.

'Well, at least there's no chance of you suffering from repetative strain injury.'

The Bronze Age of Television