Cosmic Narrator T-Shirts

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"Good game."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Outer Space Outsourcing

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

Chiller Theatre

God Sneezes Out Creation

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

Clown God

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 1: Prologue

'You caught it, you gut it!'

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."