Cosmic Commentator T-Shirts

"Look, a shooting star- let's critique it!"

Shooting Star

"I don't believe in these idiots any longer. You now can call me an atheist."

"I'll wait for the universe to end and the binge watch it."

"These humans are very primitive, some of them still judge each other on the basis of their skin pigmentation."

"Good game."

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Chiller Theatre

God Sneezes Out Creation

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

Clown God

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

Zenemies.

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Did you remember to back up the last 4.5 billion years?"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"The universe is expanding! Of course I'm expanding too!"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

"When we're home, are we still aliens?"

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'