Cosmic Commentators T-Shirts

God changes the channel with his remote.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'Cartoonist thinking'

Coronavirus

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

Sports Radio in Crisis

"Shall we put it in play?"

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Eviction Notice for Earth...

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"What, then, is theorigin of cosmology? Some say it has always been with us and always will be. Some think it arrived spontaneously, while others feel it started very small and is expanding..."

Sir Patrick Moore.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Tree of Public Opinion.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

Chess on TV

'The big bang theory of creation.'

"Since I got out here, it seems my mind is like it's in a vacuum."

The United States of Amazement

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant my awesome beard is."