Cosmic Commentators Pillows

God changes the channel with his remote.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'Cartoonist thinking'

Coronavirus

"When I was your age, we wished on stars. Now, we wish on satellites!"

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'God?' Earth receives its first transmission from space.

"It's a good show, but I'm pretty sure it's a limited series."

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

"We've all said things about heliocentricity that look bad when taken out of context."

Sports Radio in Crisis

"Shall we put it in play?"

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"What, then, is theorigin of cosmology? Some say it has always been with us and always will be. Some think it arrived spontaneously, while others feel it started very small and is expanding..."

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

Eviction Notice for Earth...

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Then I told him, 'Unions are powerless in this country... What can you do to me?'"

"Actually, we will replace you."

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

The United States of Amazement

'The big bang theory of creation.'

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

"This is gonna be great!"

"Kind of makes you realize how insignificant my awesome beard is."